Stage Fright

I had forgotten 
What you stole from me.
It took a night of hanging
Out with actors to remember
And I do forgive you -
For without your unparalled ego
I may not have understood
This shift in my voice.  

See some actors are known for their vices
"She slept her way to the top" and
"He played her like a fiddle."
In this case you played me like a fiddle,
Or more likely a cello (I'm known for
My contralto).  

You knew just how to manipulate
For the desired response.
Such is the case 
With great directors.

It felt like a couple years were gone -
Vanished - striken from the record.
I, in limbo with the loss of my identity,
Feeling the sting of your carefully
Calculated slights, checked out for a while.

Missing myself was easier than any further
Communication. Yet, forgetting us would be
Too easy and not very satisfying.

I'm turning this malice around 
And calling it the experience of injury.

Like you, I always want
To get something out of a relationship.
But even now I feel you will not forgive me
For figuring out an escape.

You always wanted to steal from me
And remind me of the cost.
Bitches are like that.

Yet I'm Strong

You hold me like the shelter
for delicate yet I'm strong
soft hands for the prayer rose
petals resist the rain, water
drops like the glued tears
of the Man Ray eyelashes 
You know the picture from London - 
The Tate Gallery or maybe
just a postcard from a friend.
All the fires we put out in
the name of security - let me
burn and flicker with intensity
I do not want to drown it out - 
emotion lost in the flooded echo
I feel you in my belly like
lotus flower spinning - 
The grave for yesterday
Doesn't matter anymore.