Cerebral Hemorrhage on A Wednesday Afternoon

(for half of Pat Paulk's brain)
 
Half your brain
And the other half of mine
Ran away this afternoon --
Skipped off, 
Just like that, 
Holding hands and
Throwing caution to the wind
 
They left us
With myriads of work,
Befuddled minds,
And the inability to spell simple conjunctions;
 
They played chicken,
Each daring the other 
To do something bold,
Crazy,
Out of the ordinary --

They told raucous jokes,
Played tag,
And did the watusi --
Right in the middle of the street,
In broad daylight,
Not caring what anyone thought --
Oh, they were very naughty!
 
It took us all afternoon
To find those rascals
And, after a stern reprimand,
The promise of ginger cookies,
And steaming mugs of cocoa,
They finally returned
 
 
But they didn’t seem too penitent,
In fact, I think they’ll do the whole thing over again,
Because the rest of the evening,
One side of my brain 
Tapped her toes
And hummed a jazzy little tune,
And when I told her to cut it out,
She said, "Yes ma’am"
In her finest Southern drawl
 
If your side of the brain
Starts talking Serbian,
Then we’re really in trouble!

So Hard To Find

I can’t keep a maid 
for the life of me, and you -
well, let’s just say you’ve gone through
friend number two hundred and ninety-five
in less than six months
and I’m the only one who will put up with you,
but hey, I’m a saint
 
So we meet at your place,
commiserating,
laying on our backs
with our feet on the sofa,
eating Mallomars 
and drinking hot cocoa
with extra marshmallows
‘cause that’s the best way to talk
 
Good help shouldn’t
be such a chore to find,
and friends should stick around,
even at the worst of times
 
One day,
I will find a maid
who dusts windowsills,
and I won’t catch her vacuuming
in my new high heeled shoes
while wearing my expensive imported parfum
reserved for special occasions,
 
and you will find someone who loves you,
warts and all
 
Until then,
I’ll be your shoulder,
and you can do my windows -
but only if you don’t leave any streaks